Monday, September 19, 2011

sand

footprints in the sand
her toes digging deeper
where he kissed her
--John McDonald, Scotland



The romance celebrated in this haiku, is not without its impressions of passion and intensity; to such a degree in a three line poem, within the constraints of seventeen syllables; incredible. Line two, presents a remarkable scenario; of this happening and structurally, it works as a well placed pivot. This is the stuff that most editors crave for their haiku journals. It conforms to well understood haiku standards, but is by no means boring. On the contrary, this delightful piece, is all show, not just narrative. Look there it is, as we savor, as they did, that moment, capsuled in the sand. Its by no means a frieze however, we do pick up the nuances of differing heights of the personnae, and as well, there is enough subtle movement within for our reading eyes to read and return to read again, absorbed in the use of the 'ing' form of the verb 'digging' with the intruigue of a kire to follower - 'deeper'. To draw us even moreso into the scene.
Three lines and fifteen syllables sketches for us a romantic kiss on the beach sands

Well done John
--gillena cox
coordinator; Caribbean Kigo Kukai




the kigo was sand

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

rice

planting rice
the child on her back
soothed by song
--Marleen Hulst; The Netherlands


Those who commented on this haiku zeroed in on the basic uppermost theme of bonding; and i too, am swayed by this relationship spell of the unstated but presumed mother child companionship in the rice field; the setting presents the hope of nourishment; sustenance and furtherance to that love bond; we are taken further on the strains of her song to hungers sated not only for this child but to a world which will also be fed because of her back bent in supplication to the palate of so many, unawares of a meal first created in a song of love
She uses no kireji; her two images are clear and concise; the juxtaposition, stands on its own measure, of the progression of Marleen's direction of this scene. There is no surprise, there is no intrigue, only an esoteric binding cord; working hands, bent back, and care giving; crafted into a haiku, the likes of which the group nominated winner

Well done Marleen

--gillena cox
coordinator; Caribbean Kigo Kukai



the kigo was rice